fresh air

Something one of my good friends carl told me the other day bothered me. He told me he didnt like seeing me the way i was these days. And I knew exactly what he meant. Just one short year ago, i was happy, vibrant, motivated, energetic. Today, i'm edgier. And a helluva lot bitchier, even bitter. And i don't like it, dammit. I dislike what i've become. I don't need any bitterness or drama in my life. Granted, I went though soooooooo much this year. Can we say emotional roller coaster? It was something i completely hadn't experienced before. I'm used to simplicity and just keeping bullshit away from me. I swear i feel like i opened myself up to it all this year, but i'm ready to let it all go. Really, I am. I realize its not one of those things you can always control... but at this point in my life, i want to do everything i can in my power to stay focused on the things that keep me content, and not the things that have broken me down.

I've made plenty of mistakes this year. But, i believe in living and learning. God, have i learned. Seriously, I don't place blame on any of this other than myself. Sure i was hurt, but only I could decide how much i could let all that pain get to me and for how long. It's about time it subsided. And it feels good because i have so much to look forward to. I have a damn good life and i am sooooo thankful for it. Thank God that i know i have a supportive family and awesome friends who are there for me. I love it. I LOVE YOU GUYS =) Reading my very own blog, I almost convinced myself that i had a sad life. Uhhh, I am so wrong.

Anyways, this breath of fresh air is so revitalizing.
Spring break, prom, graduation.
I look forward to it all and i'm prepared to appreciate life with open arms, once again.