Monday, October 18, 2010
Friday, October 01, 2010
One Month
"Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart."
-- Life of Pi, Yann Martel
-- Life of Pi, Yann Martel
Saturday, May 16, 2009
A smattering of lifeless thoughts revived.
The remnants of my fruitless attempts at blogging:
May 4, 2009:
I can't quite grasp why life has increasingly become more confusing as the years swiftly pass by.
November 19, 2008:
So many events and places and faces in such rapid succession, I wouldn't even know where to begin. My memory, at best, offers only a vague recollection of the mish mash
September 8, 2008:
It's funny. Logging on to my own blog, I discover that the majority of my attempts to post have been saved as drafts. Endless thoughts left lifeless on the screen.
The problem with not falling often is that when I do fall, I fall hard. I do everything in my power to stay in control of my feelings, often by way of denial.
June 25, 2008:
It has been precisely one week to the hour since I was officially able to call myself "single". Interestingly enough, I've been on cloud nine since then. Perhaps this isn't, and shouldn't be, surprising to most. I've never hidden the fact that being single is my default, the state that I'm most comfortable in. But even for someone as independent as myself, three years is a substantial amount of time spent with someone, and to not feel any ounce of misery is somewhat questionable.
After so much time invested in one another, how exactly were we able to part ways and continue in our so-called bliss?
I refuse to call him my "ex". Instead, I continue to refer to him as my best friend.
June 13, 2007:
I stare at the blank screen and say to myself "what is there to say about it all?"
Simply, life has become complex. Then again, when isn't it? Sometimes, often actually, I reflect back to a period in my history when my worries involved little more than...
And now, life has essentially become defined by an amalgam of listless cliches.
November 11, 2006:
domestication sensation
There's never been a more welcome scent in my house than the luxurious smell of freshly washed laundry. The love and I finally got around to investing in a washer and dryer for ourselves. Long gone are the days of lugging laundry to and fro. Oh, the FREEDOM!
After living in our townhouse for the past 3 months, we've slowly but surely been making it into our townhome. I must say, it's been a bit of an overwhelming investment. Financially, everything from linens to hardwood floors to dinnerware to furniture to now large appliances (and many, many more knick-knacks in between), have all constituted as a firm back-hand bitch-slap to our sparse bank accounts.
But, I love it. I absolutely love this place we can truly call our own.
(+)
Where oh where in my humble abode can I display my gorgeous new zebra-print bench so that it may shine in all it's wondrous glory?
August 12, 2006:
passion. motivation. direction.
Where has it all gone? Parts of me, once so strong, so vibrant, lay dormant deep within. Reaching out to them is a struggle when I can barely feel their existence. A journey of frustration and tears, often leading me in places where I end up lost, disoriented. The destination is success and happiness. An oasis I sometimes feel i've only dreamt of. If it's real, how do I get there when my legs tremble beneath me? Exhaustion overcomes my being.
(x-posted to Tumblr)
May 4, 2009:
I can't quite grasp why life has increasingly become more confusing as the years swiftly pass by.
November 19, 2008:
So many events and places and faces in such rapid succession, I wouldn't even know where to begin. My memory, at best, offers only a vague recollection of the mish mash
September 8, 2008:
It's funny. Logging on to my own blog, I discover that the majority of my attempts to post have been saved as drafts. Endless thoughts left lifeless on the screen.
The problem with not falling often is that when I do fall, I fall hard. I do everything in my power to stay in control of my feelings, often by way of denial.
June 25, 2008:
It has been precisely one week to the hour since I was officially able to call myself "single". Interestingly enough, I've been on cloud nine since then. Perhaps this isn't, and shouldn't be, surprising to most. I've never hidden the fact that being single is my default, the state that I'm most comfortable in. But even for someone as independent as myself, three years is a substantial amount of time spent with someone, and to not feel any ounce of misery is somewhat questionable.
After so much time invested in one another, how exactly were we able to part ways and continue in our so-called bliss?
I refuse to call him my "ex". Instead, I continue to refer to him as my best friend.
June 13, 2007:
I stare at the blank screen and say to myself "what is there to say about it all?"
Simply, life has become complex. Then again, when isn't it? Sometimes, often actually, I reflect back to a period in my history when my worries involved little more than...
And now, life has essentially become defined by an amalgam of listless cliches.
November 11, 2006:
domestication sensation
There's never been a more welcome scent in my house than the luxurious smell of freshly washed laundry. The love and I finally got around to investing in a washer and dryer for ourselves. Long gone are the days of lugging laundry to and fro. Oh, the FREEDOM!
After living in our townhouse for the past 3 months, we've slowly but surely been making it into our townhome. I must say, it's been a bit of an overwhelming investment. Financially, everything from linens to hardwood floors to dinnerware to furniture to now large appliances (and many, many more knick-knacks in between), have all constituted as a firm back-hand bitch-slap to our sparse bank accounts.
But, I love it. I absolutely love this place we can truly call our own.
(+)
Where oh where in my humble abode can I display my gorgeous new zebra-print bench so that it may shine in all it's wondrous glory?
August 12, 2006:
passion. motivation. direction.
Where has it all gone? Parts of me, once so strong, so vibrant, lay dormant deep within. Reaching out to them is a struggle when I can barely feel their existence. A journey of frustration and tears, often leading me in places where I end up lost, disoriented. The destination is success and happiness. An oasis I sometimes feel i've only dreamt of. If it's real, how do I get there when my legs tremble beneath me? Exhaustion overcomes my being.
(x-posted to Tumblr)
Saturday, September 29, 2007
not quite dawn.
It is disconcerting to know that I have so much on my mind, but I no longer feel I have the ability to articulate my thoughts. Well, I wouldn't say I don't have the ability to, per se. It's more as though I lack the energy, or desire, to explain myself to anyone other than those who are around me enough to just know. "Explain myself about what?", I ask myself.
About everything.
I have become too private. I crave communicating with the world my unbridled passion for all things life has to offer. The days when I was more naive, less doubtful. I long for my personal self-censorship to become non-existent.
I was once referred to as "the girl with the fire in her belly". The flame burns on; steady, but no longer rampant.
I feel my self is dormant. Waiting.
About everything.
I have become too private. I crave communicating with the world my unbridled passion for all things life has to offer. The days when I was more naive, less doubtful. I long for my personal self-censorship to become non-existent.
I was once referred to as "the girl with the fire in her belly". The flame burns on; steady, but no longer rampant.
I feel my self is dormant. Waiting.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Backtrack.
Ok, I retract what I said in my last post. The continuation would have been a rant on how I felt like I was left high-and-dry, but I'm over it. I survived. It's done.
Plus, how bad can things be when my assistant just hooked me up with a piece of cake. Chica totally made my day.
Obviously, it doesn't take much more than Banana Dream to make me feel all is well in the world.
Plus, how bad can things be when my assistant just hooked me up with a piece of cake. Chica totally made my day.
Obviously, it doesn't take much more than Banana Dream to make me feel all is well in the world.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
